The Importance of Being Ernst..or..Back to Jaime

Strange times indeed in Nicaragua....
Last week I went to Chinandega for a dentist meeting. I like to call it a meeting instead of an appointment because the latter sounds so....demanding. A meeting is mutual, goes both ways. Anyway, I was supposed to get my teeth whitened and had already told EVERYONE I met that I was going to look gorgeous (sort of like when it's your birthday, and you tell everyone it's your birthday...but you're like, 5, instead of 43 and telling everyone about your teeth...sort of). So I go to the meeting, we meet, and I think they mixed the chemicals wrong because I look like me, not whiter, brighter, or even sexier, just like plain old me. Do-over! Trying again next week...will let all know how it goes (like you have a choice?!) So we run into Jaime who is selling his pool table. Now, I don't want a pool table...we live on the beach! The only thing that lasts here is plastic. I used to say that it is a testament to the human body that we can survive in this environment and not have our eyeballs fall out, or mold grow in any of our 2000 places. And I still say that. Back to Jaime.
Jaime needs a little money for a project, so we offer to buy the practically useless slate and felt-topped table that weighs 14 tons. That means we have to transport this thing to Mechapa on The Worst Roads Known to Humankind. No small feat. While talking with Jaime, like a meeting, really, we are lamenting on how slow things are all around Nicaragua. We both agree that the photo on the cover of the newspaper showing the masked hoodlums shooting mortars at the Holiday Inn in Managua was probably NOT a good thing. Mortars? They aren't really mortars...more like bottle rockets... So here is the back story, straight from Jaime and verified by me through 2.5 independent sources (unnamed, and one of them was really drunk, so he's only a .5 independent source.)
The FSLN was having a march, they like marching, so they shut down a bunch of streets in Managua. But, on that same day, around the same time, the Other Guys decided to have a meeting (not with their dentist or Jaime) so they went to the Holiday Inn. The marchers, upon hearing that the Other Guys were at the Holiday Inn Managua decided to stop by and say hi, which is why the Police Dudes didn't think twice about letting them do just that...they said they wanted to say hi. They couldn't get in the hotel, so instead they tried to get the Other Guys attention. Now, in the movies, this is commonly done by throwing a small stone at the window closest to where your friend is. But the hotel is really big, so they decided to use their bottle-rocket thingies to tap the windows, get the Other Guys attention and wave hello. That's it!! End of story!! No attack on tourists, just a crappy photo showing a thousand wrong words. Your source for Nicaragua Travel Information - Right here, people.
So back to Jaime. Quick...how many men does it take to load a pool table? Answer - 14. 6 to drag it across the floor and ruin the wood on one side, 4 to yell at them, help them navigate out of the room and onto the road to the waiting Chariot, 2 to stand there and watch (always an important part of the project) 1 to buy the beer and 1 more to drink the beer and hand out beers. Don't bother to go back and check the math. For those of you paying attention, yes, the Chariot is back in action. Re-built engine, new transmission, clutch - it would be new if not for it's intentionally deceiving outward appearance of 'I could fall apart in seconds.'
So back to Jaime. While there, Ernst, our extern from Austria, shows up with Dead-Finger Tim. That's right, Ernst is from Austria, where it is customary to work for a couple of weeks and then go on vacation. Dead-Finger Tim is on our motorcycle because we bought his a couple of weeks ago because he needed help on a project he is working on. Tim left his 2 puppies here whilst he vaca's with Ernst. They are getting along fine with the 3 cats that got sent in a box here from Tina in Jiquilillo after her dogs almost ate one. She needed help on her Cat Project so we took them in. Current count - 32 legs, 16 eyes, 8 tails, and more nipples than we could count (that's not my joke...that's Leonards' joke.)
OK, so back to Jaime.
We get the pool table loaded up and head back up to Mechapa on the Worst Roads Known to Humankind. Surpisingly, the 14-ton table makes it in one piece. That's the end of that story really, Mike is having a meeting with it downstairs right now. Can't even make anything up. Just being honest.
Despite the strange quiet that has befallen us for the past 2 weeks (it started when Leonard showed up....hmmmmmmmm) Mechapa has been a-buzz with activity. The Road to Nowhere was completed, sort of, in record time. It starts just outside of our main entrance and goes all the way to....nowhere. Venecia, really, but there isn't much in Venecia, so there you go. The interesting other story here is that Mechapa is also a-buzz with buzz. Property values have gone up, the price of beans went up, and it feels like at any minute a bus-load of tourists is going to show up - San Juan del Sur style. I really hope not, of course, but it has been sort of slow since Leonard arrived.
Hopefully Ernst will come back for vacation some time before it's time to leave. As for me, I've got a meeting to attend downstairs.